If the World Turned Its Head Sideways and Coughed
by Dehgan
Summary: My Harry Potter Omake folder. It shall be full of delicious AU's and amusing oneshots. Rated M for safety.


_AN: First of all, I must inform you that I do not own any of the properties used in this, or any, of my fanfics, except for the demented products of my own mind. Thank you._

_As for why I am doing this and not my Naruto story…well I'm getting the next chapter written, and the few after that outlined. It is taking time, but it will be done eventually._

_Now then, this is 'story' is going to be a giant bunch of HARRY POTTER OMAKES. Some of them will have multiple parts; others will be one-shots. Some might evolve into full stories. Who knows? _

_Anyway, this is going to be a bit of a humor story…well okay more than a bit, but it has its serious moments, as well as some Sirius moments. HAAAAAW._

_Right then, on with the show!_

As Severus Snape hurried away from his previous location, he made a noble effort to find a word that accurately described just how dire the situation currently was. He had already exhausted his rather impressive reservoir of wizarding expletives, and had been forced to move onto more mundane words for the sake of lowering his blood pressure down from its' current dangerous level.

He'd been Dumbledore's, that twinkly eyed bastard, spy in Voldemort's circle for quite some time now, and since he knew he had the life expectancy of a moth near an open flame at the moment he had taken a rather large risk in placing a bug, more specifically a modified _muggle_ listening device, in Voldemort's chamber. Apparently the dunderhead had not thought to check for non-magical forms of surveillance, so when Peter Pettigrew appeared in Voldemort's chambers and informed him of the _Potter's_ location Snape knew almost immediately.

Severus Snape was not exactly a kind man. He was bitter, trusted no one, and disliked people in general, preferring his softly simmering cauldrons and their shimmering fumes.

There was however a rather glaring exception to this rule. This exception had red hair, green eyes, and her name rhymed with _Eily Lvans_.

There was not an incident that Snape regretted more than that one, brief moment when he allowed his anger, pain, _humiliation_ to control his mouth.

_Mudblood_.

He had called Lily Evans, _his best friend_, that hateful, _awful_ word. The hurt in her eyes, the betrayal he could see in them, hurt more than anything else he had ever experienced before then.

It hurt more than anything else he'd experienced up until then.

The only thing that could compare was the feeling in his heart that Voldemort, You-Know-Who, the most feared Dark Lord in recent times, a man who made _GRINDLEWALD_ seem sane, was now after her.

And Voldemort never would have known to pursue her if it had not been for him.

It was at this point that the world reached a split in the time stream. The path that the world would travel would be decided this night, this _very moment_, by the actions of Severus Snape.

Feel free to gasp in shock and terror.

One path, in which Snape did the 'smart' thing, and ran off to warn Dumbledore that Voldemort intended to attack the Potters. However the combined delay of finding Dumbledore, explaining the situation, and Dumbledore gathering reinforcements would lead to them arriving far too late. Events would continue and Snape himself would eventually die attempting to redeem himself, his last sight being the eyes the looked _so much like hers_.

Thankfully, that is not the decision that Snape chose to make this night.

Snape arrived at Godric's Hollow, the sounds and flashes of _Potter's_ battle with Voldemort obvious even from the distance that he was.

Quickly downing an extremely experimental and untested potion, that would hopefully keep Voldemort from attacking him through the Dark Mark, Snape quickly glided, as appearances must be kept even in such a crisis, towards the front door of the house, which had been conveniently, for him, blasted in.

As he crossed the entranceway Snape spotted the Dark Lord, who had paused to savor the moment, poised to strike down a dazed Potter. Grimace as though he had just swallowed some distasteful, Severus Snape prepared to do something no one could have predicted him doing.

He was going to save James "Prongs" Potter.

* * *

Lord Voldemort was certain that he would be feeling the utmost levels of joy at the moment, had he not sacrificed the ability to feel joy for more power.

Looking down at the dazed but defiant expression of a man who had thrice defied him and escaped, Voldemort decided that he had done enough gloating and it time to make sure that Potter never had the chance to escape a fourth time.

Voldemort spoke in slow, sadistic tones, "_Avada Kedav-_"

Voldemort stopped his casting of the Killing Curse, and dodged a mustard-yellow curse with such speed that it seemed as though he had apparated.

James had finally managed to get his equilibrium back. As he quickly dropped back into a battle stance and cast his eye's towards the direction of his savior, he let out a gasp, "Snape!"

Snape's eyes never stopped watching the Dark Lord, but James was certain he could _hear _the sneer in his voice, "_Potter._ Do try to focus your infantile attention span on the matter at hand."

James's eyes widened as he was forced to dodge out of the way of a crackling, black orb that disintegrated the chair that it hit. Keeping his eyes on the Dark Lord, James responded to Snape, "But-wha-you-You're supposed to be a Death Eater!" James protested to having his viewpoint on life so violently changed, and was inwardly worried about how they would heat the house since hell was obviously freezing over.

"I was Dumbledore's spy, you dunderheaded buffoon!" Snape inwardly smirked as he saw James bristle at his verbal barb.

"Severusssssss." Voldemort hissed, "You were a fool to betray me, and an even greater one to admit it in front of me!" Voldemort hissed again, and after a moment passed looked rather shocked.

"Oh, dear…" Snape spoke in a low silky voice, "Did you think that I would _agree_ to spy on you without preparing defenses against your little club tattoo?" Snape inwardly believed that it would not be _his_ fault if Potter were to take his statement as meaning he had _always_ been a spy

Voldemort snarled at Snape, and launched numerous curses, all of which were dodged or deflected by Snape.

James had to admit it, watching Snape taunt and cajole the Dark Lord into a frothing rage in which he focused entirely on him was down right hilarious. Why hadn't they been friends again?

Oh, right. Evil-slimy-Slytherin with a Dark Arts obsession.

James took note of the fact that Snape, despite his best efforts, was being pushed back and cornered by Voldemort, and quickly took action.

With a flick of his wand and a mumbled incantation Voldemort suddenly found himself on the receiving end of a Laz-E-Boy Lion.

James managed to not pout when his favorite chair exploded violently.

Voldemort let out an enraged roar, "I'll kill both of you!" A deranged laugh escaped from his lips, "and then I'll kill that filth _Mudblood, __whore!_"

Voldemort likely had no idea that by saying those words he sealed his fate.

A vicious snarl escaped from the other two occupants of the room, causing both of them to look the other in the eye, and come to a sudden understanding.

James realized in that moment that Snape came here, likely expecting to die, intending to everything within his power to stop Voldemort. Not for the sake of a life debt, or for "the greater good", but because he would never allow Voldemort to harm Lily so long as he drew breath.

Snape realized for the first time that James Potter loved Lily Evans-Potter. That James hadn't pursued her for some stupid childish reason. He had chased Lily because he had seen the same thing Snape had. A person who just by being there made the world just a little bit brighter.

James Potter nodded to Severus Snape.

Severus Snape nodded at James Potter.

Voldemort would not pass.

* * *

Sirius Black was not a happy man.

Dumbledore had called together the Order and told them that bloody Voldemort was going after the Potters and that he needed to gather…well something about trusted people. Sirius and Remus had leapt out of their seats the moment they heard the words "Voldemort" "going after" "Potters".

Sirius couldn't wait around for Dumbledore to make a plan, not while his surrogate family was in danger!

"You ready for this Moony?" Sirius barked out as the two made a mad-dash for the blasted-open doorway.

Remus looked amuse, "Would it matter if it said I wasn't?"

Sirius laughed, "Not a damn bit."

Needless to say, the pair were rather surprised when they entered the doorway to see James Potter and _Severus Snape_ working together to duel against the Dark Lord.

To make a long story short Remus Lupine and Sirius Black joined into the fray, both received a brief explanation as to why the bloody hell Snape was there, how Pettigrew had betrayed them ( _Sirius_: That rat bastard!) and that Snape was here to kill Voldemort, because Merlin knows the Ministry isn't going too do it.

They foursome had worked extremely well together, and Voldemort suddenly found himself pressed on all sides. The combination of Potter's transfiguration skills, Snape's mastery of the Dark Arts, Black's unpredictability, and Remus Lupin's library like knowledge of spells made it impossible to turn the tide of the battle.

It was a this point that all of the combatant's heard the sounds of apparition and a cold dread found its way into Snape's heart. For Dumbledore to attempt to bring a team here, he would have to drop the Fidelius.

Shit.

Black perked up, "The Order?"

Snape let out a hissed breath, "Death Eaters…"

Voldemort began to laugh, a sound the four found disturbingly high pitched, "You fools…" Voldemort sneered, "I will _enjoy_ your dea-"

Not for the first time that night Voldemort found himself interrupted this time by a sudden and varied mixture of war cries.

Moments after the Death Eaters had arrived, the Order of the Phoenix arrived, as had a substantial amount of Auror's.

Potter looked remarkably smug, "You were saying, Moldywarts?"

Snape let out a snort. Trust a Potter to insult a Dark Lord with such a juvenile name.

* * *

The Battle had not been a drawn out affair after that.

Voldemort would have his physical body destroyed by the combined efforts of James, Sirius, Remus, and Snape. Dumbledore would arrive in time to contain the mysterious black mist that escaped from his rather charred and broken corpse.

The Death Eaters were contained quickly by the combined efforts of the Order and the Auror's, all of whom were _very_ shocked to find that so many respectable members of pure-blood society were Death Eaters.

Really.

Snape looked down at the still smoldering pile that had once been the most feared Dark Lord in modern history, and let out a snort. He had honestly not expected to make it through the night. Snape grimaced as he felt the effects of his experimental potion wear off. He let out a grunt of pain as the effects of the Voldemorts attack through his mark finally made their way through the channel that had been blocked not so long ago.

"Severus?"

Snape turned just in time to see Lily's face before he felt his knee's give out underneath him. He ended up lying on his back, looking blearily up at the ceiling as he noticed darkness creeping in from the corners of his vision. It was not 2 seconds later that his field of vision was suddenly filled with red hair and those beautiful, green eyes.

"Severus! Please, hang on!"

As the world began to dim, Severus Snape smiled for the first time in a long time and let out a single word before all went dark.

"_Lily…_"

_AN: Well there you go folks. Snape once again finds redemption in death. _

_Hey! At least this time he wasn't looking at an 18 year boy like he did his mother._

…

_Nah, I'm just kidding I'll give you the real ending in a moment, but I AM going to take the time to ask that you perhaps read, and review, my Devil Summoner Naruto story. Since that's going to be my major project for the foreseeable future._

_Anyway, here we go!_

_

* * *

_

Snape blinked a few moments as he gradually became aware of the world once more. He cast a weary gaze around the room and realized that he was in St. Mungo's.

Letting out a sigh as he settled back into his bed, Snape began to ponder the events of the previous…night? What day was it anyway?

Snape did not have long to ponder as he heard the latch on his door turn, and he was greeted with the sight of a familiar red headed witch.

"Oh…" Lily spoke first, "So…you're up then?" She maneuvered her way into the room.

"Yes." Snape responded before he had a chance to think, and then internally berated himself for sounding so surly.

Lily smiled, even if it did look somewhat weak, as she took a seat.

There was an uncomfortable silence between the two for quite some time, and as Snape finally opened his mouth to speak, he found himself cut off before he began.

"I wanted to apologize." Lily began, "For not forgiving you all those years ago, when I should have." Snape let out a shocked noise, which Lily mistook for him being surprised that she felt that way, "It wasn't right of me to hold it against you. I-I mean it's not like you'd ever say that sort of thing to me normally and you'd just had something so terrible happen an-" Lily began to babble, and her eyes had a watery sheen to them.

Snape could not, would not let her cry because of his actions, "Lily…" Severus Snape spoke, "You have nothing to apologize for. I should have never," Lily opened her mouth but Snape continued, years of emotion coming out, "No, listen to me! I should have NEVER treated you that way. You were my best friend! My only friend..!" Snape, despite his best efforts was finding his voice heavy with emotion, "For me to have said something to you was…" Snape stopped speaking when he felt Lily's hand on his.

"I think…" Lily smiled even as a few tears fell, "That we both made mistakes."

Severus Snape did not know what the future would hold, but for the first time in a long time, he allowed himself to feel a sliver of hope.

_Final AN: Well folks, there ya go. Like It? Hate it? Notice a mistake I made in writing? Suggestions for other Omakes or AU's? Just tell me in a review, or else I'll never know._


End file.
